>>3069642
Spoiler-free Rewrite synopsis for animeonlyfags:

Rewrite tells the story of Kazamatsuri Bond, a 27 year old agent of U.N. Special Ops (UNSO).
Bond was an edgy kid, he enjoyed killing bratty children's parents in front of them.
He fought the terrorists of the Greenpeace conglomerate with every drop of his blood, no matter how many dinosaurs they had.
Both factions were fighting over a nuclear device called the Lock, which could destroy the world.
During one such battle Bond was defeated, and put into a coma because of the nuclear device.

Now at age 27, after waking from his coma, Bond decided fuck it and to enter school again, because he still looked like he was 17 from nuclear radiation.
Well he actually has amnesia as a side effect, but he just wants to live it up at school like he never got to.
He wanted to get a girlfriend, mess with his best friend, join a club, become a TV reporter and grope some girl's tits.
To get all of this, he joined a club where he reported on Paranormal stuff with the other members.

Little did Bond know, the members were all undercover agents of UNSO and Terrorist Greenpeace!
His childhood friend also turned out to be the girl whose parents he killed. Apparently she resurrected them into plant zombies, because she's a magical sage.
One friend is a UNSO top agent, one friend has a servant who is Bond's alternative universe self, one friend is literally worse than Hitler, and one friend is a walking biohazard.

If that wasn't enough, the Lock turned up again, starting another war. The Lock is actually a cute deadpan girl, with an obsession for Bond. She sneaks into his bed at night and haunts him.
To top it all off, Bond's blood is now nuclear residue which he can shape at will!

Now Bond must choose a side, but no matter what happens, the earth is fucked either way.
Unless of course he can become a tree, build a canoe with his wood, fly it to the moon and terraform it. That would solve everything.

Written by Romeo Tanaka.