Бля, какая же жиза. Быть одной не в отношениях >>> быть одинокой в отношениях.
You know, maybe theres a male loneliness epidemic. I mean probably right? What healthy male role models are left to young boys anymore? How are they encouraged to socialise among themselves even? How are they encouraged to view women?

But the thing that bothers me is that nobody talks about the female loneliness epidemic. This is all anecdotal, I have plenty of female friends, fewer and fewer as I grow older but still enough to keep me happy. But when I try to date or even just make friends with men, it seems that pornography and sexism always get in the way. I dont think I have ever met a man who actually saw me as a complete person- maybe my brother but thats it.

They always seem to only want to see me for what I can provide for them. When im deeply in love with a man- i like to think about how his day is going and I like to notice things about him, what he would and wouldnt laugh at, how he would behave after a long day at work or after something annoying happens, what his interests are, I like actually getting to know him and I'm always curious to find a human connection. But with the men who date me or who claim to love me- I just always get the feeling they dont really see me. Theyre never actually noticing me until we're being intimate, they dont wonder how my day went, theyre not amused by my reactions to things theyre not interested in reading/ watching/ learning/ doing what im doing. Theyre just interested in "the girlfriend experience". They rarely ask me questions even, theyre just- uninterested in engaging with my mind. Even during sex- theyre just interested in reenacting pornography rather than actually connecting to another person. The culture has completely poisoned the well on that possibility.

There are men who started off dating me, but were turned off when they found out I was a decent conversation partner- they needed to desexualise me because they just could not be attracted to someone they viewed as complex or equal I guess.

Even with men who are just friends, they like that I will listen to them and play at therapy or that I can hang out and have a good time gossiping and drinking, but theyre not really interested in my wellbeing the way I'm interested in theirs. They wont actually want to listen to me or give me advice on stuff thats bothersome. It doesnt really bother them if I'm going through something hard. And its not that way with my female friends, we might even share too much and become too invested in the others well being.

Its a lonely thing to experience, that even in your friendships/ relationships with like half the people you meet- youre never really seen.

My female friends all do feel this way as well, they feel unseen in relationships and dismissed with their male friends, but I suppose theres nothing to do but make some compromises when youre a straight woman. Sigh.
https://ovarit.com/o/WomensLiberation/569385/young-men-in-crisis