>>6474

>Это и так подразумевается.

Это логически следует из того, что про Диаду говорилось в восьмёрке, но, кажется, в словаре сказано, что Силовое Исцеление она почерпнула из люковских книжек (ну, типа оправдали их присутствие в сюжете). Что породило у кучи зрителей вопрос "если эта техника была известна джедаям и раньше, то почему ей никто никогда не пользовался". Раддус 2.0, в общем.

>Да, да, а еще им Сноук манипулировал, и Палыч на ухо шептал и Абелот давила.

Да, я это и имел в виду. Ситуация Вишейт-Реван. Ну, или вариант помягче - раз Люк ничего активно не уничтожает, то просто охренел от увиденного, что-то там ему дало по мозгам, и он съебался в ужасе/пошёл кончать с джедаями. Впрочем, тогда можно было и в восьмёрке оправдать теорию, что Люк ищет на Ак-То какие-то тайные знания, чтобы победить... хотя постойте, Абрамс по сути именно это и сделал, только не додавил - поиски Экзегола и отшельничество на Ак-То как-будто никак друг с другом не связаны.
Или, самый лучший (имхо) вариант - Палыч, как опытный манипулятор, ударил сразу с двух сторон. Заставил Бена всё разнести, а Люка - не восстанавливать. По-тихому вывел джедаев из игры я уже кидал тут недавний комикс про Люка, где Палыч влезает ему в голову и насылает картины точно такого отшельничества, мол, посмотри как прекрасен мир без войны

>Почему недалекие говноежки никак не могут принять, что показанная в восьмерке мотивация Люка вполне самодостаточна, и не нуждается в нелепых внешних воздействиях, низводящих драму до мелодрамы?

Потому что восьмёрка существует всё же не в вакууме, а в рамках трилогии, и в этих рамках была жёстко и без смазки отретконена? Такие ходы, конечно, не спасли бы фильм, но подобные вставки, требующие лишь 10 секунд хронометража, хотя бы сделали бы переходы между фильмами чуть плавнее и сгладили в глазах зрителей самые острые углы. Майндфакнутый Люк мог бы и мнение о восьмёрке улучшить - в какой смысл в претензиях, если это действительно не наш Люк? На самом-то деле он вовсе не такой, а Джонсон всё предусмотрел и опять гений. Только выиграли - теперь не надо понимать восьмёрочного Люка, чтобы его любить, Абрамс для дорогих гостей костылей на любой вкус и цвет принесёт.
Но он оказался не самым умным человеком, и в погоне за любовью фанов предпочёл "исправлять" другие фильмы, а не склеивать их во что-то единое и целостное.

А вот и вырезанные сцены подъехали
General Armitage Hux watched—from a safe distance—as Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and a squad of stormtroopers cut a swath of blood and destruction through the pathetic Mustafarian colonists. They battled through the gloomy woods of Corvax Fen, one of the few patches on this hellscape of a lava planet that was cool enough to support native growth, if you could call this “growth.” Barren trees grew out of a noxious marsh, and the air was hazy with mist. The barbarian colonists were failing to put up a decent fight; their ar­chaic halberds and broadswords were no match for the technical superiority of a good blaster, or even, Hux had to admit, a light­saber.

Ren was a blunt instrument, a mindless dog, whose current ob­session was putting all the First Order’s plans behind schedule. The general was half tempted to wade into the fight himself to hurry things along—just so they could leave this awful planet. Or at least he would be half tempted if his skills were not better used else­where. Best if Ren did all the dirty work; Hux was too valuable to risk.

“He’s almost beautiful to watch,” mused Allegiant General Pryde, standing tall beside him. The older man had arrogant blue eyes and a high hairline that seemed immune to perspiration, even in a hell-climate like this. “Don’t you think?”

Hux refused to gratify that with a response, because true beauty came from discipline, from order. So it was almost against his will that he found himself mesmerized as Ren met a barbarian’s charge head-on, cloak flowing, mist swirling around him. The glow of his lightsaber occasionally snagged on his cheek scar, making it appear as though a crack of glowing lava slashed his face. It was like some­thing out of a dream, or maybe a nightmare, as the Supreme Leader plunged his fiery crossguard into his attacker’s abdomen, lifted him from the ground, and sent him toppling onto his back. Kylo Ren did not spare his fallen foe a single glance, simply rushed forward into the woods seeking his next kill.

But there was no one left. Corpses littered the ground, barely more than lumps of shadow in the gloom. The air smelled of ozone and scorched vegetation. All was eerily silent as Ren looked around, catching his breath. Even from a distance, Hux could sense his dis­appointment that the killing was over, that no outlet for his rage remained.

Kylo Ren gathered himself and strode away into the woods, shoulders set with determination, lightsaber still ablaze. The myste­rious object he had come for—dragged all of them across the galaxy for—was nearly within his grasp.

“He’s gone mad,” General Hux said, and the contempt in his voice was obvious even to his own ears. “Flames of rebellion burn across the galaxy, and Ren chases a ghost.”

“No,” Allegiant General Pryde responded, softly but firmly. “Someone was behind that transmission. And Leader Ren will answer to no one.”

Hux narrowed his eyes. Ren would definitely answer to some­one, someday. He just didn’t realize it yet.

Kylo Ren showed mercy to nothing and no one, but he had a grudg­ing appreciation for things that struggled to survive. Even though the nearest lava flow was many klicks away, it seemed as though the air ought to be too hot, too chemical, for life to truly thrive here. As they’d landed, Hux had proclaimed the planet a “desolate hellscape,” and Kylo hadn’t bothered to correct him. The truth was, Mustafar was teeming with life—all connected through the Force. Like those hapless cultists he’d just killed, who’d been obsessed with protecting Vader’s legacy. Or this forest of twisted irontrees they endeavored to cultivate. Or even the extremophile organisms that swarmed the lava flows. All fragile but determined, mutilated but indomitable.

It was no wonder his grandfather has chosen this place for a home.

Kylo strode through the trees, lightsaber still ignited. Malevo­lence lay ahead, along with a darkness that had nothing to do with the planet’s day–night cycle. But that’s not why he kept his weapon ready. He refused to put it away because for the briefest moment, as he was hacking away at Mustafarians, he had sensed her. Watching him. Now his guard was up, and it would stay up until he got what he came for.

By silent mutual agreement, the stormtroopers who’d accompa­nied him had declined to follow him through the woods, which suited him fine. He preferred to be alone for this.

A few more steps and the ground became soggy. The mist thick­ened. A small splash indicated that his presence had been noticed. Finally, the trees broke open onto a small lake with brackish water, bordered on all sides by forest and large black lumps like boulders, jutting out of the ground at odd angles. No, not boulders, he noted upon closer look, but rather fallen remnants of Darth Vader’s cas­tle.

An oily film slicked across the lake’s still surface. But as Kylo ap­proached, the water bubbled up in the center, sending tiny waves to lap at his boots.

A giant emerged, a hairless creature sheening with wetness, bits of lake detritus clinging to its pasty skin. Its eyes were squeezed shut, but it could still see after a fashion, because draped over its massive bald head and across one shoulder was a second creature with long spidery tentacles. The two were locked in symbiosis. Kylo sensed the giant’s pain, as though it were a slave to the spidery being that clung to it. Yet neither could it survive alone.

The spider creature spoke. “I am the Eye of Webbish Bog. I know what you seek.”

“You will give it to me,” Kylo said.

The Eye cocked its head, making an eerie squealing noise. It took a moment for Kylo to realize the creature was laughing at him. “No need for that,” the Eye said. “Do you really think my lord would have left it in the guardianship of one who could be swayed by a trick of the Force?”

No, he supposed not.

“You’ve been seeking it for a while, yes? I must warn you, our fiery planet burns away deception. If you proceed down this path, you will encounter your true self.”

Kylo was growing impatient. He glared in silence.

“Fine,” the creature said, as though disappointed that Kylo would not indulge him in ceremony. “In accordance with Lord Vader’s wishes, you have defeated my protectors and earned it. His way­finder.”

The blind giant beneath the Eye raised its enormous hand from the water and pointed toward a small island in the lake. On it was a stone structure, like an altar.

Kylo turned off his lightsaber and hooked it to his belt. He waded into the shallow lake, soaking his boots and cloak. The water was warm, and the ground beneath the water a sludge that sucked at his feet. He ignored it all, reaching for a pyramidal object. It fit satisfy­ingly in his hand, heavy and hot, and he stared at it a moment, lost in its red glow. The sides were etched glass framed in deep-gray resin. The crimson light within seemed to pulse faintly. Ren had come a long way for this, and yet he hesitated, eyeing the pyramid with distrust.

“It will guide you through the Unknown Regions,” the Eye said. “To the hidden world of Exegol. To him.”

Whoever he was. The transmission purporting to be from Palpa­tine had reached the far corners of the galaxy. Kylo had it memo­rized:

At last the work of generations is complete. The great error is corrected. They day of victory is at hand. The day of revenge. The day of the Sith.

He wasn’t sure what to believe about it, but it was a fair guess that Kylo wasn’t the only one seeking answers. Others would follow the same path and come to Mustafar sooner or later, looking for this exact object.

So surely his grandfather would have made it harder than this? Those cultists were too easy to kill. This creature too easy to con­vince. Then again, he was Vader’s heir. The object belonged to him.

Now that he had it up close, the etchings in the glass clarified into patterns. Star charts. Alignment markers. Something stirred deep within him, suggesting ancient knowledge and power, and he felt a rush of triumph. It had all been worth it—diverting ships, sending out spies, tracing old records, enduring the smug disap­proval of that idiot Hux—all to find this.

Kylo looked up, and was startled to discover that the Eye of Web­bish Bog was gone, slipped back beneath the surface of a lake so still it was as though nothing lived within it at all.

How long had he been staring at the pyramid?

Kylo Ren wasted no more time. Dried blood made the skin of his face itch, and his boots and cloak were soggy with lake water, but instead of returning to his command ship, the Steadfast, he dis­missed everyone back to their regular duties and jumped into his modified TIE whisper to make the next part of the journey alone.

No one protested.

He connected the pyramid to his navicomputer, attaching ports where indicated by the glass etchings. The nav interface lit up with new information, but it also blared a warning.

For these coordinates would take him beyond the Western Reaches into the Unknown Regions. Kylo overrode the warning and jumped his TIE to lightspeed. The stars turned to streams of matter.

The Unknown Regions remained uncharted because a chaotic web of anomalies had created a near-impenetrable barrier to explo­ration; only the most foolhardy or desperate ventured there—criminals, refugees, and, if the reports were true, remnants of the old Imperial fleet who had refused to accept New Republic rule.

A few planets had been discovered, but their populations re­mained small, and their trade with the rest of the galaxy had been throttled by the navigational risk. The Sith and the Jedi had found paths through to even more dangerous, more hidden worlds—or so legends said—and the specific, carefully stepped coordinate jumps required to safely navigate the anomalies were among their most closely guarded secrets.

The trip would be worth the risk. Someone was out there, claim­ing to be the Emperor himself, and Kylo could already sense ripples of doubt in the First Order. After all he’d done, after all he’d sacri­ficed to become Supreme Leader . . . who would dare to challenge him now?

Девятка, конечно, такой театр абсурда ёбаный, что даже хорошо вышло. Я, блядь, так и видел во время просмотра в голове, как Абрамс говорит сценаристу "Да похуй, блядь, как ты сделаешь, мне завтра сцену снимать, пиши давай, пидор". И пидор написал.
Что мы имеем?
Палпатин жив. Как? А хуй знает. Может и не жив даже, а типа призрак Силы он же плотью обрастает когда высывает силы из Кайло и Рей. Хотя вроде и не призрак - всякие банки-склянки с капельницей ему зачем-то ведь нужны. Короче, в квантовой суперпозиции дед застял.
Сноук - это произведение Палпатина. Как он его сделал? А хуй знает. Зачем ему клоны Сноука в пробирках? А хуй знает. Бета-версии, видимо. Как Сноук видел рассвет и закат Империи? А хуй знает, это вас ебать не должно.
Обиженка Хакс сливает сопротивлению информацию о Палпи и совершенно тупо сливается сам да и хуй с ним. Мог бы и с ребятами полететь, рассказать про логистику, коды шифрованию слить, но, судя по всему, у первого ордена нет ни кодов шифрования, ни логистики. Ах да, для того, чтобы передать сообщение ПАЛПАТИН БЛЯДЬ ЖИВ понадобилось закачивать информацию в дроиду.
Ах да, блядь, дроиды. Видимо, в далёкой-далёкой ПО для дроидов пишут какие-то абсолютные говнокодеры, потому что требуется сброс всех, сука, настроек, для того чтобы кусок памяти прочитать. А бэкапы умеет делать только R2-D2 потому что... А хуй знает почему. Не умеют остальные в это, вот и всё.
Калриссиан очень удобно оказывается в галактических пердях ну да хуй с этим, Чубакку берут в плен не замечая ЁБАНЫЙ БЛЯДЬ КОРАБЛЬ с рабочими двигателями, Кайло выживает после того, как его истребитель распидорасило каким, блядь, образом?, Рей хуячит транспортник и грустит, что там Чубакка. А когда Чуи оказывается жив, то уже не грустит - видимо остальные пленники Ордена сострадания не заслуживает. Ну убила и убила, хули, с кем не бывает.
Рыцари Рен. Ох, сука, это просто анекдот, скетч, блядь, сбежавший из Монти Пайтона. Они просто появляются рядом с героями и стоят в пафосных позах. Зачем они? Хуй знает. Кто они? Хуй знает, вас ебать не должно. Ну и в конце их опиздюливает Кайлуха.
А как он опиздюливает? Мечом, который ему по силовому скайпу Рей скинула. Как это работает? Хуй знает, вас ебать не должно. Ах да, они ещё в режиме видеоконференции махаться на мечах могут. Такой вот интерактив.
Что ёбаный флот ёбаного Сидиуса делал хуй знает сколько лет на планете? А хуй знает, дрочили вприсядку на Палпатина, видимо. Потому что за всё это время они не удосужились ни построить больше ОДНОГО, СУКА маяка, ни в автопилот забить программу для звёздных разрушителей.
Ммм... звёздные разрушители. Чувствуете запах пиздеца? Сначала у нас была звезда смерти. Потом ещё одна, побольше. Потом сраный Старкиллер. А теперь у нас КАЖДЫЙ КОРАБЛЬ - ЗВЕЗДА СМЕРТИ, КАК ВАМ ТАКОЕ, А? А? На моменте со взрывом планеты я просто в голос проиграл и понял, что звёздные войны - это уже не космоопера, это аниме, нахуй.
Три с половиной бомжа на ржавых корытах атакуют огромный, сука, флот Палпатина потому что фокус тараном повторить не могут. Манёвр, видите ли, уникальный. В чём уникальность манёвра "Развернись в сторону противника и ебани на сверхсвете" нам, правда, не поясняют. В конце прилетает ещё больше бомжей, хотя в предыдущей части не прилетел вообще никто. Почему? Хуй знает. Видимо, Лэндо задолжали и неудобно было отказывать.
Палпатин не может заткнуть ебало, чтобы Рей его ёбнула и всё пошло по его плану, Кайлуха прибегает и сразу же огребает, Сидиус ебашит как сраный Тесла молниями во все стороны. Рей, блядь, как отметили выше, не джедай, она Квисатц Хадерах, нахуй, так что слушает подкаст от джедаев и двумя мечами эти молнии отражает. Алсо, Палпи огребает от своих же молний прямо как в трёшке. Ничему мужика жизнь не учит.
Бен в виде, судя по всему, призрака силы, лечит Рей наложением рук, сосётся с ней и отдаёт концы. Все счастливы, Дэмерон отправляется наяривать на своего дроида, Фин представляет тройничок сразу с азиаточкой и мулаточкой, мы пытаемся понять каким, сука, образом, сделан тот кинжал, который идеально учитывает положение обломков Звезды Смерти, какого хуя мы ничего не поняли про сына/дочь Палпатина и каким образом можно спасти ребёнка, продав его в рабство у Энакина, наверно, жопа сгорела нахуй от таких поворотов.

Ничего не забыл?

https://twitter.com/StarWarsExplain/status/1232149269101965312?s=20

- The Jedi of the High Republic are the “Jedi Knights of the Round Table.

- The main villains are called the Nhil and are described as space Vikings.

- There will be stories for every type of Star Wars fan.

- The High Republic is 200 years before the prequels. “The Jedi as we’ve always wanted to see them.”

- The idea for this massive connected story was pitched way back in 2014 .

- These are all unique stories, not the same story repeated for different ages.

- https://twitter.com/StarWarsExplain/status/1232154950999756801 Concept art

- The level of production that went into these stories was reminiscent of film pre-production.

- The Nihil are the main villains. They are purposefully meant to be VERY different than the Empire or the First Order.

- The Nihil are able to use hyperspace in a very dangerous way but that’s all.

- A driving force behind #ProjectLuminous was “New, new, new. What have we never seen in Star Wars that still feels like Star Wars."

- Light of the Jedi by @CharlesSoule is the first book, coming out August 25. Will establish the era and kick off the adventure.

- The Wookiee Jedi is named Burryagga Aggathuri. I’m sure I misspelled that .

- We’re going to see The Great Disaster. Something terrible is going to happen at the opening of the novel. Something awful happening in a time of peace and prosperity.

- A Test of Courage is a middle grade book by @justinaireland. The main character is a sixteen year old Jedi Knight. She says it’s more serious than her previous stories.

- The High Republic comic from @Marvel will be written by @cavanscott. It will center on Starlight Station

- Into the Dark by @claudiagray.

- The High Republic Adventures comic from @IDWPublishing is by @djolder.

- Everything we’ve heard about so far is just “Phase One” of the High Republic. More stories and more licensees are coming.

- We are going to learn a lot more between now and August 25.